Algunas postales de otro año más en el antro que amamos odiar.
(Si los tuits no cargan con formato, denle dos minutos y vuelvan, no es mi culpa que Elon Musk haya rajado a todo el equipo técnico de Twitter Inc.)
Every female lead in a scifi movie is like "my hair is short bc it's the future"
— Katie Hannigan (@katiehannigan) January 6, 2022
This looks like Wile E. Coyote trying to catch a hypochondriac Roadrunner: pic.twitter.com/ggYesIb3dX
— Frank Lesser (@sadmonsters) January 24, 2022
We used to pay real money for ringtones and now if my phone makes a noise it ruins my day
— Jeff Computers (@JeffMyspace) February 18, 2022
Omg I’m sorry I’m just responding to your message, we accidentally created a world where you have to keep track of 15 messaging apps at all times and also it’s been a pandemic for two years and also also I have turbo brain fog due to said pandemic
— Josie Brechner 🌺🗡 (@visagermusic) February 13, 2022
Crypto is just the stock market for people who think superhero movies should win more Oscars.
— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) February 22, 2022
My 8yo daughter met a girl at summer camp last year named "Internet." I said no way, that can't be her name but my daughter has been adamant. For almost a year we've been having this discussion.
— Brianne M. Kohl (@BrianneKohl) March 18, 2022
ANTOINETTE. I just found out her name is Antoinette.
https://t.co/EGgVtJt3oF pic.twitter.com/yd90OG9N2S
— Zack Budryk (@BudrykZack) March 7, 2022
“this is more of a comment than a question” pic.twitter.com/pyUunly6VK
— david byron queen (@byron_queen) March 10, 2022
Karl Marx was a German philosopher and economist.
— Amir (@AmirAminiMD) March 21, 2022
If you’re looking for a dangerous Russian-born philosopher who inspired oligarchies around the world, that’d be Ayn Rand. pic.twitter.com/PxAv2rE9pm
The Oscars wouldn’t fabricate a fake assault because they could never do anything even remotely that interesting on purpose
— Chris "Three PVMs" Person (@Papapishu) March 28, 2022
Will Smith saying he wants to be a vessel for love fifteen minutes after hitting a guy live on international TV and then getting a standing ovation is just an incredible summation of what Hollywood’s all about.
— 🏜🔋, fka ☕️ (@coopercooperco) March 28, 2022
richard williams taught me to protect my family and that love will make you do crazy things, absolute goated excuse for assaulting someone on live tv, let him get away with it
— josh lewis (@thejoshl) March 28, 2022
These hyper-specific new categories will not get me to watch the Grammys pic.twitter.com/eSbcEvP1dI
— Slade (@Slade) April 4, 2022
It really is insane that every single person with a cell phone deals with several attempted scams every day and we’ve just accepted that it’s part of our lives forever
— jon drake (@DrakeGatsby) April 11, 2022
this spot reserved for ppl that twerk at babies pic.twitter.com/hOhZ2sK3Ak
— dr pimp(pill-popper) (@RaptorBreath) April 22, 2022
Some people say we should leave abortion rights up to states. I say, why stop there? Why not leave it up to counties, cities, neighborhoods, or—and this would really be fun—individual people?
— Nina Strohminger (@NinaStrohminger) May 12, 2022
Modern Kendrick: I regret egregious slurs for man’s on mans // it is of utmost importance we platform trans
— worst guy you know (@himbodotgov) May 13, 2022
Modern Kanye: My Divorce Justifies The Armenian Genocide // I Am Going To Give Pete Davidson Cyanide
PhD supervisors have two moods: pic.twitter.com/Ri8oWEbTKK
— Daniel Gould, MD (@DJGould94) May 20, 2022
politicians should be required to wear a jacket that has all the corporations sponsoring them like nascar
— ab d. roger (@aliabdi) June 3, 2022
Ask not what your president can do to bring down the price of gas. Ask what your mayor can do to make it possible to get around without a car.
— Joe Cutrufo (@JoeCutrufo) June 12, 2022
Telling my boss "yes," when they asked if I speak Spanish fluently and following it up with, "but not for free," has been the highlight of my day, so far.
— Nani ✨🏹✨ (@lenubienne) June 7, 2022
paused the video at a point where it looks like tiny biden is giving big biden a shoulder massage pic.twitter.com/1cYrGKRMWH
— Kady Ruth (@kady_ruth) June 3, 2022
hey i skimmed your tweet and saw some words i recognize. anyway here's my opinion on what i imagine you said
— Your Broke Professor (@Synapsid) June 2, 2022
taking a break from reading a great novel to look at twitter and read some of the worst shit ever written or even thought by humans
— eddie (@ipod_video) June 9, 2022
American graduating five years of college at 22: What am I going to do with my life I am so old
— Losing it (@prophethusband) June 13, 2022
European about to enroll in college for the first time at 37: My nation needs more experts on Latin America
What could possibly go wrong? pic.twitter.com/YPWH7xUn87
— No Context Brits (@NoContextBrits) June 20, 2022
It’s a testament to the skill of the filmmaking of TOP GUN: MAVERICK that in the opening Mach 10 sequence, it’s grippingly exciting watching a seated man continually gently press a joystick slightly forward
— Christopher Miller (@chrizmillr) June 20, 2022
i love that bands still pretend to leave before their encore. like peekaboo for adults
— oatmeal influencer (@acechhh) June 26, 2022
1st tech job: “I want to change the world!”
— Chris Bakke (@ChrisJBakke) June 23, 2022
3rd tech job: “I want to help some people.”
5th tech job: “I want to make enough money to put my kids in one of those schools where technology is banned.”
I know it’s not cool anymore but I miss the Social Media of Abundance. When people would post 50 photos from one night out and then 20 people would respond with inside jokes. Now people post once a year and it’s captioned “we did a thing” and it’s a photo of their newborn baby.
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) July 8, 2022
Cant seem to sleep. Let's see if the bright light of my phone containing all the information in the entire world held inches away from my face for the next 15 minutes manages to lull me into a peaceful slumber.
— Mike Townsend (@townsendyesmate) July 16, 2022
(crimes of the future)
— the real™️ jack luddy (@jack_luddy) July 10, 2022
lea seydoux: good morning sunshine
viggo mortensen: [sounding like he just gargled glass shards] i grew four new testicles last night and two of them are radioactive
“How late you gonna be there?” Is New York for I’m not coming
— Jared Mark Smith (@jaredinthetrees) July 18, 2022
— ✨📚MamaLou💫💋💙🌞⚡️ (@MahtogLv) July 21, 2022
Every person has a genetically predetermined amount of cocaine that will turn them religious
— Pyramid Chad (@redpyrameadhead) August 25, 2022
Amazon talking about show them proof I didn’t get the package 😒 pic.twitter.com/h01xkahoo7
— Amir. (@iconicproblem_) August 2, 2022
reminder of this special moment in time pic.twitter.com/EhgogkhcDp
— @marty (@marty) August 10, 2022
there is a point where signage goes from “informative” to “am i in the looney tunes universe now and what does the coyote want from me” pic.twitter.com/OPMoa9zY69
— qdot (@qDot) August 3, 2022
please, untitled document was my father, call me untitled document (1)
— cal? (@cal_gif) August 16, 2022
Be the chaos you wish to see in the world: pic.twitter.com/Syb5oSEpv6
— Moose (@LitMoose) August 18, 2022
more fiction is written in excel than word
— Will Manidis (@WillManidis) August 24, 2022
NEW JAMES BOND MOVIE: James if you can't overcome your generational trauma you'll never discover what it means to truly sacrifice
— Zach Dunn (@zachbdunn) August 25, 2022
OLD JAMES BOND MOVIE: My name is Rebecca Ass
bjork leaving the library of congress after looking through a latin dictionary to find a new album name pic.twitter.com/XP4mtvnNkR
— soapy (@soapyhadid) August 26, 2022
i'm sorry is this a normal thing the pope stands in front of pic.twitter.com/Q9XFAy3we0
— picardie aurora (@picardie_aurora) August 24, 2022
Do I support the monarchy? No. But am I, like so many across the world, moved by the solemn dignity and love shown in today's state funeral proceedings? Also no
— katie spalding 👻 (@supermathskid) September 19, 2022
The queen won’t see your jokes but your friends who are weirdly loyal to a monarchy they learned about from a Netflix show might and they’ll be super sensitive about it
— Lauren Hough (@laurenthehough) September 8, 2022
why Jerry Seinfeld look like a web3 startup founder who pays Forbes for features then puts “as seen in Forbes” on the company website pic.twitter.com/vTv1gErrwx
— litquidity (@litcapital) September 6, 2022
Actor bios in the 60s and 70s: He was an amateur boxer and truck driver before joining the merchant marines and was discovered by a producer in Cuba where he was in jail for assault.
— Peter Atencio (@Atencio) September 19, 2022
Actor bios today: His dad was an investment banker and his mom was a model. He attended Yale.
hello to that one person who nods along encouragingly during presentations
— Dr. Emily Anhalt (@dremilyanhalt) September 27, 2022
Imagine being the priest at Coolios funeral when you do the "as I walk through the valley of the shadow of death" bit and everyone wondering which version you're gonna do
— dan (@BierIncognito) September 29, 2022
Thinking of a new email signature other than "best".
— Nathan Jensen (@NateMJensen) September 28, 2022
You'll never take me alive,
Nate
learning is so boring unless it’s gossip. teachers should just start every lecture like “omg did you hear about parabolas”
— slate (@PleaseBeGneiss) October 14, 2022
*every phone in the court room buzzes at the same time*
— Big Tucson Dad (@BigTucsonDad) October 20, 2022
Judge: ok we’re going to break for 5 minutes so we can ⚠️BeReal⚠️ and then come back to hear closing arguments
“Who was Prime Minister when Queen Elizabeth died” is going to be a god-tier trivia question in like 20 years.
— Tacob Jaber (@jacobtaber) October 20, 2022
I will never tire of this website. Someone will say “i love spending time with my husband” and the replies are all like “WOW that’s great for you but I am ALLERGIC to BEES”
— Vinny Thomas (@vinn_ayy) October 23, 2022
an episode of Curb where Larry trips and accidentally spills coffee on a Degas painting and gets called a climate activist
— the Satoru Nakata of getting pussy (@CinemaMonsieur) October 24, 2022
Welcome to 𝗡𝗘𝗪 𝗧𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗧𝗘𝗥
— Ben Rosen (@ben_rosen) October 28, 2022
When you receive 𝟰𝟮𝟬 𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘𝗦 you will earn 𝟭 𝗠𝗨𝗦𝗞 𝗕𝗨𝗖𝗞. When you earn 𝟲𝟵 𝗠𝗨𝗦𝗞 𝗕𝗨𝗖𝗞𝗦 you can say 𝗔 𝗦𝗟𝗨𝗥
If Kanye had lived his life like 30% different he could have been Jewish people's favorite comedian. The line delivery here is fantastic. My dad cracked up every time we watched it and we watched it like 8 times in a row. https://t.co/6BdDsOsfWr
— Nathan Tankus (@NathanTankus) October 31, 2022
— Orwell & Goode (@OrwellNGoode) November 1, 2022
anytime your clients say logo design isn’t important just pls show them this pic.twitter.com/rKurGn5kQp
— isha (@ikasliwal) November 9, 2022
Twitter these days. pic.twitter.com/wbLcSro8w2
— Dare Obasanjo 🐀 (@Carnage4Life) November 10, 2022
me refusing to leave twitter until it blows up: pic.twitter.com/jsJa3mgzVP
— JRR Ho Ho Hokien 🗡️🏹🪓 (@joshcarlosjosh) November 11, 2022
Reject modernity. Embrace tradition. pic.twitter.com/2Uoc4EVjLa
— autoexec.bat (@aragunde) November 22, 2022
Beatles albums are like "I'm going to give you one of the most soaring, emotional songs you've ever heard" and then the next track is like "doo doo doo! Mr Man and his Silly Hat went for a walk!"
— 🎄 A Negroni sbagliat-ho ho ho! 🎄 (@SophLouiseHall) November 24, 2022
tis the season pic.twitter.com/11WeRpPQCf
— the thicc husband & father (@lukeisamazing) November 26, 2022
This looks like a Football Manager loading screen pic.twitter.com/KF50I9u8qh
— Out of Context Football Manager (@nocontextfm1) December 1, 2022
Doctor: Great job, you've been born. You're a natural. Now, press [A] repeatedly to cry. Right, just like that. As a baby, crying is one of your most useful abilities
— merritt k (@merrittk) December 6, 2022
Si les gustó este listado, también pueden ver la lista de mejores tweets en inglés de 2021.
